40 Ways to Entertain Out-of-Town Guests

Houseguest season is upon us, but how to keep them occupied? Here are a whole lot of quintessentially Santa Barbara suggestions, leaving aside the more famous ones—major museums, the zoo, wine tasting, the Mission, etc. Of course, you need not be hosting visitors to justify an adventure….

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The jokes on the Land Shark Tour are cornier than the entire state of Iowa, but the moment when you drive into the water is a hoot—especially if any kids in the group don’t know it’s coming.

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Chocoholic heaven: a Twenty-Four Blackbirds factory tour and tasting.

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For something more salty than sweet, learn about sustainable abalone farming, urchin ranching, and seaweed culturing on the Cultured Abalone Farm‘s 90-minute tour.

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Canzelle Alpacas in Carpinteria has a variety of animals, but the alpacas are the star.

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At the Santa Barbara Bird Sanctuary in Summerland, hearing the birds say hello and other phrases—and even better, laugh in a way that sounds just like a human—is a treat.

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OstrichLand USA is a surefire hit, unless you wiggle your thumb while holding out the feeder. Afterward, pop over to Na Na Thai in Buellton for lunch.

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Go take a hike! (Tired guests = happy hosts.) There are many excellent trails besides the much-publicized Hot Springs, which is a pain because of the parking situation. If you don’t know the options, purchase a Montecito Trails Foundation map at Godmothers in Summerland. A personal favorite, outside of MTF territory, is Snyder Trail off Paradise Road (below), where you can hike up to—but not enter, as it’s private property—Knapp’s Castle.

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Cal Coast Adventures and iSurf both offer private e-foil lessons—wetsuit included.

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Rent a surrey from Wheel Fun Rentals and go for a spin along the waterfront. You will laugh.

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Take a tour—with a guide or not—of some of architect Jeff Shelton‘s downtown buildings. The guided tour includes a visit to Shelton’s studio.

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The Santa Barbara County Courthouse (and the lovely view from its clock tower) is the kind of obvious landmark you’re likely familiar with, but you may not realize that the Clock Gallery is open to visitors from 10:45 a.m. to 12:05 p.m. on Wednesdays and Saturdays (when docents are available). Otherwise, you just get to look at it from behind glass.

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You don’t have to walk into the Bosse Toy Train Museum as a train enthusiast in order to get a kick out of Art Bossé’s collection, but you might leave as one.

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“Whimsy abounds,” says the website for Hermitage Santa Barbara, Theodore Roosevelt Gardner II’s museum of his own artwork and others’, and boy, does it ever. The two-hour tour is only offered now and then, so it’s tough to plan in advance, but it’s worth it just to get a good look at the building shaped like a stack of books.

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Highline Adventures, between Buellton and Solvang, has three ways to get the ya-yas out: ziplining, an adventure park, and a new elevated playground. For less adrenaline, consider the protea tour (with U-pick option).

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Everyone who comes to visit me gets dragged on a walk. You can’t go wrong with the Presidio, and its many mid-block paseos, but I’m also a fan of residential neighborhoods that give a better sense of what living here is like. Take the Lower Riviera, Bungalow Haven, the Hedgerow—or why not the Upper Riviera, where you can show them the frog wall? (Followed by the pig house on Butterfly Lane?) Do a little advance work and you can shock your guests with how much specific homes cost.

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Go for a drink at the Rosewood Miramar Beach’s Miramar Beach Bar, the best setting in town. If the weather isn’t cooperating, retreat to the Manor Bar (which validates the valet parking).

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And/or have a meal right by the water—it’s pretty magical for anyone who doesn’t live near the coast. The area is rich with options, from high to low: Caruso’s, The Ellwood, The Harbor Restaurant (and everything else on Stearns Wharf), Boathouse, Brophy Bros., Reunion Kitchen + Drink, Shoreline Beach Cafe….

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My husband and I became members of Lotusland so we could take guests without being on a tour, but everyone I’ve ever spoken to has said the docents are great. Time your visit right—sometime in summer—and you’ll see the water lotuses in bloom. Fans of native plants will be more comfortable at the Santa Barbara Botanic Garden, and fans of a cheap date will love the display gardens at Seaside Gardens in Carpinteria.

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Another tricky attraction to plan around is Bellosguardo, the ghostly mansion once owned by reclusive Huguette Clark, because tours only come open now and then. (Sign up for alerts here.) Heck of a payoff, though!

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The Music Academy of the West‘s annual Summer Festival runs from mid-June to early August. I’m a fan of the master classes, intimate gatherings where a fellow performs for—and gets instructed by—a teaching artist. (That’s not what’s pictured below.) My husband loves telling about a class where the teacher asked a singer what the song was about, and he replied that it was from the point of view of a woman about to meet her betrothed for the first time. “Actually,” said the teacher, “she’s about to get deflowered. Now sing it again bearing that in mind.” P.S. Make time to wander the nine-acre campus in Montecito.

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For return guests who think they’ve seen it all, there are the two new retail complexes, Linden Square in Carpinteria and The Post in Montecito.

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The Santa Barbara Bowl is such an amazing setting that it doesn’t really matter who’s playing.

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I have not been to the Sea Center on Stearns Wharf, because it seems like one of those places where you need to have a kid with you. Some friends recently took two pre-tweens, who loved it: “It’s very hands-on and the volunteers engage the kids in age-appropriate activities.”

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Play a round at Sandpiper Golf Club before owner Ty Warner gives it a total overhaul—the atmosphere is still sweet and small-town, even if the location is world-class.

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Or practice a different kind of swing at Santa Barbara Trapeze Co. Kids as young as four are welcome to participate in a trapeze class.

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Or fly with no strings attached with Fly Away Hang Gliding. If my mother-in-law can do it, so can you.

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Until CuppaPug opens here—a man can dream—there’s Cat Therapy, a cat café on the parking lot side of 1213 State Street. By the way, the certified cat lovers offer at-home cat sitting, too.

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More Mesa feels like California the way it once was. Check the tide schedule before you go, and be careful when taking photos—the western part is a de facto nude beach.

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For even more California of yore, visit Channel Islands National Park. What with the drive to Ventura harbor and the boat rides to and from the island, it’s a long day, but the scenery is spectacular. If you’d like to do more than hike, I heartily recommend Santa Barbara Adventure Company‘s kayak tour of the Santa Cruz Island sea caves.

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Admire exotic flora at Airplant Alchemy and Gallup & Stribling in Carpinteria.

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You have to become a member of Ojai’s gorgeous Turtle Conservancy to arrange a visit, but why not? The turtles could use our support! Closer to home, don’t miss the red-eared sliders in the fountain at La Arcada Plaza.

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People who love to cook unfailingly love the Santa Barbara Certified Farmers’ Market, particularly Saturday’s. Just be careful: the range of excellent produce has seduced more than one traveler to move here.

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There’s nothing like seeing Santa Barbara from the water. Celebration Cruises runs private 60-minute charters for up to six passengers on an electric boat called Whisper. BYO wine.

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Despite all of the above, I’m also a big fan of staying home and spending quality time with people I really like. Pick up a board game at Metro Entertainment or a jigsaw puzzle at Crafter’s Library—you don’t have to actually do it, but it’s there for anyone who wants it.

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And no doubt there are many more amazing options! Feel free to add your suggestions to the comments or email [email protected]. Maybe we’ll round up enough to warrant another post.

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