Social Distancing Comes to Santa Barbara

••• The Vons in Montecito was bonkers today (and the parking lot even worse than usual). It still seems odd that toilet paper should be the thing people are desperate to hoard.

••• The Riviera Theatre announced that it “will be limiting attendance for each showing to no more than 100 people. Every hour we will continue to sanitize shared surfaces, doorknobs, armrests, faucets, as well as employees’ hands. Hand sanitizer is available for all to use.” And if you feel sick, stay home!

••• The Santa Barbara Public Library “will be cancelling all public programs through April 30. When possible, the Library will make programming content available on Facebook, both live and archived for later viewing, or reschedule programs for a later date.” Basically, you have to assume that most every gathering is canceled or diminished in some way, and you should call before you head out.

••• However, the show goes on at the Santa Barbara Bowl. “We are sensitive to the troubling times we are facing as a global community, but we have many contractual obligations for future events and need to keep operating as normally as possible. Perhaps apropos of that, it went on to announce that Slightly Stoopid is playing the venue on June 28.

••• MarBorg Industries states on its website that it’ll soon have portable hand-sanitizer stations for rent. Here’s a thought, MarBorg: donate them.

••• From the Montecito Association: “Cottage Hospital has test kits. If you believe you might have the coronavirus, you should call Cottage first before showing up. You will be greeted in the emergency room parking lot by medical personnel wearing protective garb, and security personnel. If you are NOT presenting symptoms, you will be sent home. Cottage has 47 hospital rooms equipped for the isolation and negative ventilation flow required for coronavirus containment.”

••• An ad in the Independent says that a 1,600-square-foot “vernacular type house” in Santa Barbara can be yours for the taking, if you agree to literally take it somewhere else. (“All costs associated with moving the home will be the responsibility of the party accepting the offer.”) The house looks like it might not survive the move. Contact Ryan Jeffrey at [email protected] if you’re interested.